Speedballing right into Alcohol and Drug Treatment

My struggles with addiction actually began later in life than some would expect. Before I ultimately landed myself into the detox ward of a alcohol and drug treatment center, I found myself in the midst of a sudden and unexpected hopeless depression. I have always considered myself to be a bit of a mover and shaker in life, especially throughout my career in the business world. After my carefree college days, it's since been 20 years of systematically climbing the company ladder and fighting for economic survival in today's cubical jungle, in essence allowing me little time to have ever stopped n smelled the roses. The total lack of any significant personal life indeed slowly manifested into that sudden and shocking midlife crisis that I had never previously believed in. The realization hit me a few years ago one morning while catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

The lack of control I had and recurring thought of all my wasted yesteryears exploded upon me all at once, kicking on some primal drive switch to go out and live before it is too late! However, due to my schedule and time constraints, the decision to start knocking back a few J&B whiskeys every night proved somberly adequate. My motivation shifted from working to thrive, to just doing the bare minimum in order to get the hell out and find a new bar in which I could drown my anxieties. One night while in an alcohol hazed depression, I actually met up with a few old friends out at a club who seemed to be going through their own trials of middle life pondering. I still do not clearly remember what possessed me, but when I tried cocaine for the first time of my life that night, I felt that I found the missing companion for my friend liquor.

Over the next couple of years I continued to swing back and for between alcohol and cocaine. At the time, I validated my decisions as the only escape for a man in his forties with no family to raise and nothing to offer outside of the conglomerate world. My depression-fed addiction was compounded by the fact that I had not even had a distinctly different memory since I was 20! My realization that there was nothing I could do to get back all those wasted years of my youth sent me further into depression. I had lost my self-worth and self-respect completely; everything in my world began to crumble around me. I was incessantly miserable, my job was on now the line, my colleagues stayed clear of me, and even after my DUI my coke and booze addiction was still the only activity I have that gave me any consolation.

My self-grief was interrupted one day by an intervention from a few estranged friends I thought I had long since pushed away, telling me that I wasn't the only one. I remember feeling somewhat empathetic since they admitted their own personal issues with getting over the hill. They knew I had no close family to vent my feelings with and implored me to get help for my substance abuse and talk to someone professionally about the underlying depression. My friends had contacted the Addiction Care Options website on my behalf. Addiction Care Options gave them the names of some highly recommended behavioral health focused drug rehab centers for me to consider going to for my alcohol and drug treatment. For the first time in years, I felt that maybe it was not too late for me and I might be able to kick this ball and chain of alcohol and drug addiction.

Since I have finished my alcohol and drug treatment, I have been sober for 71 days! I cannot even begin to tell everyone how grateful I am to be here in such a good place both mentally and physically. I have not actually felt this good since I was a teenager and have benefitted tremendously from both the group and personal spiritual coaching sessions. Addiction recovery aside, the transformation of my nonstop mind, wound tight as a banjo string from stressing over obstacles of tomorrow has now been quieted enough to start living in the present moment enjoyment of today. Trust me; I know about doubt and skepticism of everything that is not tangible, since that is what predominantly used to fill my head. However, I can only promise you that I have not felt this much optimism, freshness, and daily moment-to-moment enjoyment since I was a teenager. Whatever your substance problem and underlying demons may be, there is hope in learning from others who have been there themselves and the help that they can offer.

Contact the National Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Information Center (NASAIC) anytime toll-free at (800) 784-6776 or through our online form, and we will recommend the leading drug and alcohol rehab centers for you or your loved one.

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