My Son's Heroin Treatment

The story of my son's addiction, and its ramifications, is a harrowing one; multiple bouts of heroin treatment and multiple facilities all claim a chapter of our story. The details and order of events seem to become less and less meaningful as the days go on. I blog -- not to rehash the details of events that I cannot change -- to sort my thoughts and recover from the pain, the guilt, the regret. And, some days I wonder if I am the one in need of heroin treatment! But right now, what I am most grateful for is that my son has stayed in heroin treatment longer this time around than any other time before. I can only hope that this is a small sign of progress. It seems too soon, given our history, to assume that he will never relapse again. Right now, these last 101 days have been the best we have experienced in years. He's on track to leave his facility in 19 days. On day 20, I hope he retains the serenity to stay sober.

I know they say addiction affects everyone in the family. But you never know exactly what that means until you live through an addiction yourself. I am the mother of an addict. That is just something that I will eventually have to come to terms with. This journey is just that ,Aei a journey. I could argue the destination is a combination of happiness and sobriety but, don't they also say that happiness is a journey? So many colloquialisms, so little time to decipher them all and select from which one should subscribe.

My son's breakthrough finally happened when he tried a different type of heroin treatment facility in Florida that specializes in behavioral health based treatment. During one of his therapy sessions they were able to identify Cory's root cause for his addiction. He finally opened up and revealed to the therapist the trauma he had endured 14 years earlier. A family ,Aeufriend,Aeu had repeatedly raped him and threatened to kill him and everyone in his family if he ever told anyone. My son Cory, who was only 8 years old, internalized this traumatic incident and never told anyone until his therapy breakthrough during his heroin treatment. He buried the trauma as deep by self-medicating with alcohol when he was 13 years old. I thought he was just a rebellious teenager. I thought nothing more of his experimentation than the fact that he was a just a boy, being a boy.

These days I work hard at telling myself that it was not my fault. Though, in my heart of hearts, I think I will always feel, in the least, partially to blame. I look forward to these next few days and my son's homecoming because this time, it feels different. With more pieces of this addiction puzzle than I ever had before, I feel like our family might finally be able to heal. I also know that if he had been placed in one of his previous treatment facilities, the truth would have never come out. I count my blessings for this round, and all previous rounds, of his heroin treatment and pray for his future health and happiness.

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